Thursday 6 October 2011

Burnie HHH Hash Trash 9 October 2011

This week's Burnie R*n 1126 is being set by A Bit of This from the pump station car park at Fern Glade, Burnie.  Look for a Mobile Postcode, now with added protein and a dash of nutmeg.  You know it's good for you. 
Sunday October 9th, 5.30pm.  Bring Hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, piece of wood, raffle change and your good self (or the other one).
Receding Hareline:
1127 October 15th - Burnie Ten Clowns at 448 West Mooreville Road, Registrations from midday
1128 October 16th - Burnie Ten tarmac torture, Wilson Street Burnie, 11.15 am
1129 October 23rd - Ratchet and Knickers
1130 October 30th - Speed Hump
1131 November 6th - TBA@TBA







Friday 9 September 2011

HHH Hash Trash 9 September 2011

R*n 1122 - On the anniversary of Nine Eleven, where in the world could
a citizen of the USA feel secure? In due deference to Sword
Swallower's concerns, Pucker Boy will be setting this week's trail
from the safest place in the world, Blythe Heads campground at
Heybridge. It's so full of bikie gangs, there's never any trouble
there.
Bring: Hat, Mug, Friend, Joke, $10 and raffle money. Those with
asteroids should ensure their own comfort at the On On by bringing a
chair. The Hare suggests that there may be mud on trail, and that
floaties and budgie smugglers may also have their place. North side
of the Heybridge Roundabout, Sunday September 11th, 3pm.

------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash's le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash's Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the
greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
† November 12th — Posh Hash Springy Balls @ Shoreline, Hobart
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1123 Saturday September 17th - Tour de Pisse
1124 September 25th - Dyke
1125 October 2nd - LaLa
1126 October 9th - A Bit of This
1127 October 15th - JM's Burnie Ten Circus
1128 October 16th - Burnie Ten

Thursday 25 August 2011

HHH Hash Trash 28 August 2011

Soft Balls are the order of the day this Sunday when we pitch in with Hare Speed Hump for an action-packed Rubber at the sports ground on the corner of Payne and Beattie Streets in Acton, Burnie. Hashers should be at the plate by 3pm ready for tossing practice, though some are already pretty good at it.
On On will be removed to Hump Cottage, 1042 Ridgley Highway.
Bring: Hat, Mug, Friend, Joke, $10 and raffle money, piece of wood for the fire, and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
† September 12th, Monday - Combined LoonRhasH with DH3 at Molly Malone's, Devonport
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse @ Ulverstone
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, 448 West Mooreville Road. Cirque du Foleil. Send in the clowns...
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
† November 12th - Hash Spring Ball from the Shoreline Hotel Howrah
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1120 August 28th—Speed Hump
† 1121 September 4th—Pucker Boy
† 1122 September 11th—LaLa
† 1123 September 17th-Tour de Pisse

Friday 19 August 2011

HHH Hash Trash 21 August 2011

A little birdie tells me that this week's r*n is ideal for those wishing to acquire balls.  Sadly they will be second hand, dimpled and somewhat soiled, but I've heard that Burnie Hashers aren't squeamish about such things.

Wash the double bogeys out of your plus fours and come join Dini to play around, starting at the Penguin Golf Clubhouse.  Bring: Hat, Mug, Friend, Joke, $10 and raffle money, Sunday August 21st, 3pm.
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash's le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash's Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1119 August 21st - Dini at Penguin
1120 August 28th - TBA@TBA

Friday 29 July 2011

HHH Hash Trash 29 July 2011

Next R*n 1116— will be set by Chunder from a boat ramp at Wynyard, near a cemetery.  That is probably the old cemetery at the eastern end of Jenner Street. On On at a Wynyard Pub TBA.

Bring: Hat, Mug, Friend, Joke, Money for pub meal and raffle money, Sunday July 31st, 3pm
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1117 August 7th—Ratchet
1118 August 14th—Speed Hump (combined LoonR)

Friday 22 July 2011

HHH Hash Trash 22 July 2011

To some, the sight of a crisp, white linen dress, the smell of a freshly clipped grass and the satisfying clunk of two heavy balls coming together is enough to commit whole weekends to.

Hare Dyke doesn't strike me as an avid watcher of Jack High, but for this week he's willing recognise the value of a good head, as Burnie trail starts at 3pm from the Turners Beach Bowls Club in Susan Street.

Personally, I'm disappointed that my dear reader is off having a terrible time in Europe, because I reckon she'd look a cracker in flat shoes and that fetching white hat they wear.

On on will be removed to the manor at 14-16 Coral Avenue, West Ulverstone.
Bring: Hat, Mug, Friend, Joke, $10 and raffle money, and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1116 July 31st—Chunder
1117 August 7th—Ratchet
1118 August 14th—Speed Hump (combined LoonR)

Friday 15 July 2011

HHH Hash Trash 15 July 2011

According to the Burnie Trash (about as reputable a source as News of the World) the next Burnie trail is a "Hippity Hoppity HOFT set by Phay Wray".

Try as I might, I have no idea what that involves.  I have sort of ruled out that it means bonking rabbit-style anything that moves, because Phay Wray is not that sort of gal.  Besides, if it moves it's already too fast for the average Burnie hasher to catch, let alone bonk.

It could mean an extended Easter egg hunt, finding three month old Easter eggs purchased on the cheap off eBay, because Phay Wray IS that sort of gal.

The only way to find out is to meet at 10:00am in the car park behind McDonalds, Ulverstone.

Standard Hashing attire suitable for the day’s weather, and a change of clothes. A mystery tour HOFT—bring cash for lunch and maybe dinner...
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
July 17th — Hobart Full Moon H3 200th run @ Two Metre Tall Brewery, Hayes
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
August 13-14th — Devonport HHH does Guildford, contact Black Tracka on 0419 442 220 for details
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1114 July 17th—Phay Wray: A Hippity Hoppity HOFT, details TBA
1115 July 24th—Dini
† 1116 July 31st—Chunder
† 1117 August 7th—Ratchet
† 1118 August 14th—Speed Hump (combined LoonR)

Monday 11 July 2011

Vale Christopher 'Lord' Eden

It is with sadness that we report the recent passing of Christopher "Lord" Eden, co-founder of Hobart Hash House Harriers.

Lord Eden was an icon in Tasmanian hashing circles and supported our chapter's inaugural run in 1978:
Taking into account the limited intelligence and lack of experience of our pack, we invited one Lord Christopher Eden, co-founder of the Hobart Chapter and Rex Viney, Founder of the Launceston Chapter.
They failed to impress our members greatly.  The former, who had arrived in all his pomp and glory, was by the end of the day reduced to a mumbling drunk and the latter, who during the closing stages of the run, had his testicles rearranged whilst astride an electric fence in wet pastures, spent the rest of the evening snarling at anyone who went near him.

Lord Eden, now hashing with Cloud Nine H3.

Chris 'Lord' Eden left, with Mike Boss-Walker and Rex Viney
at Burnie H3's first run in November 1978

Friday 8 July 2011

HHH Hash Trash 08 July 2011

High School reunions are generally awkward events, probably akin to sado-masichism but with far less leather.  It generally takes 10 or so years after leaving school to forget the horrible stuff enough to want to see how badly everyone else has fared.

Not hare LaLa, who is pining for the days of the old school yard enough to set this week's Burnie hash trail from Parklands High School, in Atkins Drive, Romaine.

There will be advanced finger painting classes and perhaps a 1980s video presentation on how to apply a condom to a banana (never worked out why you'd need to do that).  After school day care will be at 120 Mount St, Burnie.

Bring: Sun hat, drink flask, smutty joke, bestest friend, $10 canteen money, and extra money for the raffle bully.
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
July 17th — Hobart Full Moon H3 200th run @ Two Metre Tall Brewery, Hayes
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
August 13-14th — Devonport HHH does Guildford, contact Black Tracka on 0419 442 220 for details
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† 1114 July 17th—Phay Wray: A Hippity Hoppity HOFT, details TBA
† 1115 July 24th—Dini
1116 July 31st—TBA
1117 August 7th—TBA
1118 August 14th—combined LoonR

Friday 1 July 2011

HHH Hash Trash 01 July 2011

The King is dead.  Really dead, this time.

Like any newly-installed monarch, King Ringo the First has scarpered off in the regal economy class carrier of choice to visit his peers in the old country, leaving his loyal subjects to pretty much do what they like, which is what they would have done, regardless.  Meanwhile, the hare to the throne has been fitted into a fetching new red vest and is contemplating life as a tampon.

With King Ringo overseas, his loyal subjects have declared six weeks of feasting and will start with a gathering at 3pm from Royal Wimbeldon (Burnie sub-branch), Eastwood Drive, Burnie, under the republican gaze of hare Sword Swallower (let them drink cake!).

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, raffle money and extra drinks.
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
July 17th — Hobart Full Moon H3 200th run @ Two Metre Tall Brewery, Hayes
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
August 13-14th — Devonport HHH does Guildford, contact Black Tracka on 0419 442 220 for details
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1113 July 10th—Hare required
1114 July 17th—Hare required
1115 July 24th—Hare required
1116 July 31st—Hare required
1117 August 7th—Hare required
1118 August 14th—Hare required, etc (combined LoonRhasH)

Friday 24 June 2011

HHH Hash Trash 24 June 2011

The King isn't dead, but has a cough that could turn into something nasty.

The royal coronation was delayed due to the ash cloud (it gets blamed for everything else), so has been relocated to the Harold Holt Memorial Pool (aka Burnie Aquatic Centre) in Terrylands starting at 3pm and is being coordinated by Flasher.

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, raffle money and extra drinks.

The King is dead! Long live the King! Again!
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
July 17th — Hobart Full Moon H3 200th run @ Two Metre Tall Brewery, Hayes
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
† August 13-14th — Devonport HHH does Guildford, contact Black Tracka on 0419 442 220 for details
† August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout @ Myrtle Park
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
† October 15-16th — Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up to the greatest slow on earth
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1112 July 3rd—Sword Swallower @ TBA
1113 July 10th—Hare required
1114 July 17th—Hare required
1115 July 24th—Hare required
1116 July 31st—Hare required
1117 August 7th—Hare required
1118 August 14th—Hare required, combined LoonRhasH
(Is Snack Bar the Burnie trailmaster, too?)

Friday 17 June 2011

HHH Hash Trash 16 June 2011

The King isn't dead, but has developed a nasty hangnail.

The royal coronation was delayed due to a sudden case of absenteeism, so has been relocated to 14-16 Coral Avenue in Ulverstone. Doesn't get much more regal than that! Apparently.

One week into his new year, Trailmaster Dyke has already run out of hares and is setting them himself - it's going to be a loooong year. On gets called at 3pm.

The King is dead! Long live the King! Again!

As posted by my iWank (which apperently doesn't do character returns)
------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
June 20th — Headway charity run @ Blackmans Bay hall
July 17th — Hobart Full Moon H3 200th run @ Two Metre Tall Brewery, Hayes
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1110 June 26th—Flasher @ Burnie Pool
1112 July 3rd—Sword Swallower @ TBA

Thursday 9 June 2011

HHH Hash Trash 09 June 2011

The King is dead! Long live the King!

It is somewhat ironic that the crown of Burnie Hash's most prolific hasher should pass from Grizzly to Ringo on the Queen's Birthday weekend of 2011.  It's been a lengthy reign; Grizzly was one of three hashers to first reach the milestone of 50 runs back in 1980 and has not been knocked off the throne since.

The venue for Ringo's coronation will be one of his realm's southern outposts, Bronte Park, where the loyal subjects of Chardonnay Hash are gathering for the annual Highland Fling and have agreed to bend over and lift ther kilts as a mark of respect.  That's the way they roll, at Chardonnay.

Details of the Fling are on the Chardy blog site at http://chardonnayhhh.blogspot.com/.

The King is dead! Long live the King!
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
June 11-13th 2011 — Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
† June 20th — Headway charity run @ Blackmans Bay hall
† July 17th — Hobart Full Moon H3 200th run @ Two Metre Tall Brewery, Hayes
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
† October 31st — Kids with cancer charity run @ Hobart College
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1109 June 19th—TBA
1110 June 26th—Flasher @ Burnie Pool
1112 July 3rd—Sword Swallower @ TBA

Friday 3 June 2011

HHH Hash Trash 03 June 2011

And so, dear reader, here we are.  Again.  Just you and me, or should that be 'I'?  Not 'I and me', although sometimes I wonder.

A new year and a new committee *cough* rejuvinated to bring hashing excellence to Burnie and the broader Tasmanian hash community.

First hare off the rank, and the first trail to be forgotten when it comes to awards time, is being set by Speed Hump from Hump cottage, 1042 Ridgley Highway, Ridgley.

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10 and extra drinks.

Happy new hashing year!
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
June 11-13th 2011 — Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
July 23rd — Bonfire @ Black Tracka’s. Ever wanted to stuff a Guy and then burn him? Yeah, me too. Bangs with sparks guaranteed.
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1108 June 11-13—Highland Fling
1109 June 19th—TBA
† 1110 June 26th—Flasher @ Burnie Pool
† 1112 July 3rd—Sword Swallower @ TBA

Monday 30 May 2011

Mismanagement committee 2011-12

The deck chairs have been shuffled; some remain resolutely bonded to the deck, while some have gone overboard.  Here's who to blame for the next twelve months:

Grand Master - GonZo
Joint Masters - Phay Ray and LaLa
On Sec - Dini
Hash Cash - Ratchet
Hash Hops - Ringo
Hash Lips - Pucker Boy and Chunder
Trailmaster - Dyke
Hash Flash - Phay Ray
Hash Hawker - Speed Hump
Hash Horn - Urang
Hash Monk - Tinsel Twat
Hashitorian - A Bit of This
Web Wanker - Grizzly

Friday 27 May 2011

HHH Hash Trash 27 May 2011

Each year at the eleventh hour of the eleventh month we stop to remember.  Remember what I can't say, because I've forgotten, but I remember to remember.

This Saturday we remember the 1111 (eleven-eleven) Burnie Hash trails that have laid down their flour to preserve our way of life.  Probably not worth it, really.

Second-Lieutenant Ratchet is in charge of orchestral manoeuvres in the dark, with the first wave heading over the trenches at 4pm from 1054 Isandula Rd, Gawler.

This will be followed by the AGPU, at which the existing Committee will be court-martialed, incarcerated, castrated, exonerated, then given a quick buff up and a new rank for the coming hash year.  That's the way we roll in Burnie.

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10 and extra drinks. Military Attire, Stiff Upper Lip and other parts as required.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
June 11-13th 2011 — Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1107 June 5th—Speed Hump @ TBA
1108 June 11-13—Highland Fling
1109 June 19th—TBA
† 1110 June 26th—Flasher @ Burnie Pool
† 1112 July 3rd—Sword Swallower @ TBA

Friday 20 May 2011

HHH Hash Trash 20 May 2011

Dear reader, my apologies for not posting last week.  I'd like to blame slackness, for that is the easiest to believe, but in this instance Mr Blogger was having Friday off and I could not acess the site during taxpayer-funded time.

The Phil Spectre of Burnie's AGPU looms large and a lot of people are looking nervous lest they be given a job!  Ah, who am I kidding; if you've attended more than 10 runs with Burnie in a year you'll ALWAYS get a job.  That's the way it works!

But I'm getting ahead of myself, for we still have one more tilt for a Bolt Error nomination for run of the year, with a GonZo run starting from the Woollies carp ark in Upper Burnie.  Much easier for GonZo to duck in and grab two miscellaneous food items from the shelf and try to convince everyone that it's a foreign delicacy and that it really tastes nice.  Trail starts at the unreasonably early hour of 3pm.

Bring: hat, mug, joke, friend, money for pub meal and drinks, plus your raffle money.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
† May 28th 2011 — Burnie HHH AGPU @ Ratchet and Knickers’ place, Gawler.  Theme this year is Armistice Day (Remember not to mention the war), as it is our Eleven Eleventh r*n. Witness the signing in of the new Cummittee and the beginning of a New World Hashing Order. Maybe. Military style attire may be worn, stiff upper lip, wot!
June 11-13th 2011 — Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
† August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
† October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1111 May 28th—AGPU
† 1107 June 5th—Speed Hump @ TBA
† 1108 June 11-13—Highland Fling
† 1109 June 19th—TBA
† 1110 June 26th—TBA
† 1112 July 3rd—TBA

Friday 6 May 2011

HHH Hash Trash 06 May 2011

No other day on the calendar strikes fear into a male's heart as much as Mothers Day.  Okay, maybe prostate check day is up there, but somehow a simple day to celebrate your own mother now includes anyone within the vicinity for whom the uterus has been stretched further than a politician's truth, plus anyone with the potential for motherhood who owns a cat, dog or Siberian hamster and speaks to it in nausiatiting human baby language.  Add to this the stress of buying a present that will never satisfy, an over-priced piece of cardboard containing words that you would never string together yourself even when pissed, and cooking a meal big enough to feed several central African tribes for a week.  Extend this pain further because your offspring are too broke or lack any real care factor to participate, so you have to cover for them as well.

Don't even get me started on the flowers.

Once upon a time it was TRADITIONAL for Burnie H3 NOT to r*n on Mothers Day, because frankly every male was too emotionally drained by the end of the day to participate.  Enter A Bit of This, who is to tradition what a well-placed bullet was to Osama's head.

So, THIS Mothers Day there WILL be a Burnie H3 trail and it will be set by a uterus-free hare, just to extend the day's glorious misery.  What's more, the hare will be setting a genuine live trail with the threat of a pantsing, cook the barbecue and then drive three and a half hours just to get home.

Happy Mothers Day, my arse.

Trail starts at the earlier time of 3pm from the Penguin Sports Centre, Ironcliffe Road, Penguin (just past Penguin High School, which I only mention because you can never have too many Penguins) and will be set by hare Grizzly.

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, raffle change, and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.

It should be noted that 95% of fathers are just happy with a six pack of beer and to be left alone to watch sport on the television on Fathers Day.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This @ TBA
† 1106 May 22nd—GonZo @ TBA
1111 May 28th—AGPU

Thursday 28 April 2011

HHH Hash Trash 28 April 2011

Just west of Sheffield is a little mark on the map labelled 'Nowhere Else'.  This week's Burnie trail isn't there; it's somewhere else.

Somewhere.  Urang knows where, because he's the hare (or he will know by at least 4:00pm on Sunday).  For now we provide the vague details of somewhere in Wragg Street, Somerset.  You're all enterprising people so I know that a little vagueness will not stop you from attending (you'll find some other excuse!).

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, raffle change, and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
† August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
† September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1104 May 8th—Lone Arranger
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This
1106 May 22nd—TBA
1111 May 28th—AGPU

Thursday 21 April 2011

HHH Hash Trash 21 April 2011

Easter - the only time of the year where eating something small and brown that has been left behind by a rabbit is considered normal.

The Easter hare has packed up and is heading to one of Burnie's expanding western suburbs - a little place called Marrawah.  The HOFT (actually three HOFTs) will encompass a series of short walks in the Tarkine area — including Trowutta Arch, Lake Chisholm, Beckett Falls, Balfour Track Forest Reserve, Sarah Ann Rocks, Marrawah coastal walks, others as dictated by time and weather.

Friday 22nd HOFT - meet at Macca’s Burnie @ 10 am.
Saturday 23rd HOFT - meet at Marrawah Pub @ 9am.
Sunday 24th HOFT - meet at Marrawah Pub @ 9am.

Organise own accommodation if required. Bring: Gear suitable for daywalk (potentially in wet conditions - the monk has the weekend off), your lunch, and food to share for Friday dinner (it’s Good Friday and everything is closed!), plus the usual Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, extra drinks, money for Pub grub Saturday.
-------------------------------

UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1103 May 1st—Urang
1104 May 8th—Lone Arranger
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This
1106 May 22nd—TBA
1111 May 28th—AGPU

Friday 15 April 2011

HHH Hash Trash 15 April 2011


The mathematicians amongst us would no doubt recognise that the number of this week's Burnie trail - 1101 - is the binary representation of the decimal number 13.

Luckily, the average Burnie hasher is unconcerned by superstition (and the average Devonport hasher can't count past 10), so any suggestions of impending disaster at the hare-y hands of Ringo will be met with stoic resolve and stiff upper lip (or other body parts capable of occasional stiffening).  Mirror breaking and ladder limbo dancing will commence at 4:00pm SHARP from an undisclosed point past the Highclere 'shop' (look for signs, such as a black cat crossing the road).

Bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, raffle change and extra drinks if you are a p!sshead.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
† April 18th 2011—H5 AGPU @ Indian Kitchen, Collins St Hobart
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1101 April 17th—Ringo
1102April 24th—Easter Tarkine HOFT
1103 May 1st—Urang
1104 May 8th—Lone Arranger
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This
1106 May 22nd—TBA
† 1111 May 28th—?AGPU

Friday 8 April 2011

HHH Hash Trash 08 April 2011


On one thousand, and ninety nine occasions some flour has been ritually thrown to the ground in and around the Burnie area, shortly thereafter eagerly followed by a group of athletes.  Sure, sometimes it hasn't been flour - or even trail - and sometimes it's not been in or around Burnie (unless you class the crime-riddled streets of West Moonah as a suburb of Burnie).  Granted, they're not all athletes, either.  Not even 'special' athletes.

Regardless, this Sunday marks the 1,100th occasion of something that may or may not resemble a trail set for the Burnie Hash House Harriers, which is by most standards something to be celebrated.  Unless you happen to be a member of the Burnie hash House Harriers, apparently.

So, this Sunday hare Ratchet will deliver his usual high standard of trail, sans trumpets and fanfare to mark the auspicious milestone (although the usual strumpets will be in attendance), starting at 4pm from 1054 Isandula Road, Gawler.

Bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, raffle change and extra drinks if you are a p!sshead.  Who knows, perhaps there'll be a chocolate biscuit to celebrate - just the one, mind you.
-------------------------------

This weekend also sees the nuptials of Grand Master BoomBoom and Joint Master Giggles (let us hope that there's no confusion and he doesn't accidentally wind up with JM Urang!).  Congratulations to both lovely people and we wish them all the hashing best for the future!
-------------------------------

UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
April 18th 2011—H5 AGPU @ Polish Club
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1100 April 10th—Ratchet
1101 April 17th—Ringo
1102April 24th—Easter Tarkine HOFT
1103 May 1st—Urang
1104 May 8th—Lone Arranger
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This
1106 May 22nd—TBA
1107 May 28th—?AGPU

Friday 1 April 2011

HHH Hash Trash 01 April 2011


April Fools Day - very tempting to use the occasion to announce something seemingly newsworthy but ultimately bogus, such as 'A Bit of This renounces her British citizenship and thinks the Australian cricket team "a top bunch of blokes" ', but some stories are just too hard to swallow.

Speaking of swallow (note segue), this week's Burnie Hash run will be the virgin Tasmanian trail for hares Pucker Boy and Sword Swallower, set from the Burnie tennis courts at Eastwood Drive.  Be prepared for non-standard markings, strange trail deviations and foreign hash traditions.  Much like your average GonZo run, I suspect (c'mon, smoked oysters on Iced Vovos?).

With the demise of daylight savings (he types, shedding a tear), this week's pack will be sent off at 4pm.

Bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, raffle change and extra drinks if you are a p!sshead.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
April 18th 2011—H5 AGPU @ Polish Club
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1099 April 3rd—Pucker and Swordy from Eastwood Drive, Burnie
1100 April 10th—Ratchet
1101 April 17th—Ringo
† 1102April 24th—Easter Tarkine HOFT
1103 May 1st—Urang
1104 May 8th—Lone Arranger
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This
1106 May 22nd—TBA
1107 May 28th—?AGPU

Tuesday 22 March 2011

HHH Hash Trash 22 March 2011

Please do not adjust your calendars.

This week's early edition comes courtesy of the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix and a momentary lapse that today, while my last day at work for the week, is not Friday.

This week's hi-methane hash action comes from boy racer Dyke, using the time-honoured Trailmaster method of setting runs yourself rather than asking anyopne else.

The grid is to form up at Dyke's place, 2/64 Tugrah Road, Devonport, with go, go, go at 5:00pm.

Bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, raffle change and extra fuel if you expect more than one pit stop.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
† April 18th 2011—H5 AGPU @ Polish Club
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† 1099 April 3rd—Pucker and Swordy from Eastwood Drive, Burnie
† 1100 April 10th—Ratchet
† 1101 April 17th—Ringo
† 1102April 24th—Easter – any takers?
† 1103 May 1st—Urang
† 1104 May 8th—Lone Arranger
† 1105 May 15th—A Bit of This
† 1106 May 22nd—TBA
† 1107 May 28th—?AGPU

Friday 18 March 2011

HHH Hash Trash 18 March 2011

I see, a bad moon a-rising.

Not so much bad, as ugly.  And more than one.

This Sunday Burnie H3 play host to LoonRhasH, sans tea and scones and those little marizipan things that seem to crop up but nobody likes.

The were-hare is none other than the Fool Loon himself, Black Trakka, setting forth not from Forth but from Fern Glade, Burnie.

On! On! will be called at 5pm, which in these disappointingly shortening days should allow the traditional 21-moon salute to happen before Speedy's bed-time. We're pretty sure that it won't be a waxing moon.

Bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, raffle change and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
March 20th 2011—LoonRhasH @ Fern Glade, Burnie (BT)
April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th.2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1097 Mar 20th—Black Tracka @ Fern Glade
1098 Mar 27th—TBA
1099 Apr 3rd—Pucker and Swordy @ TBA
1100 Apr 10th—TBA

Friday 11 March 2011

HHH Hash Trash 11 March 2011

No more excuses!  Aussie Nash Hash 2011 duties have finished (for most) and it's time to get down to the ordinary weekly hash business - if only I had my list of things to do to tell me what that is.

This week's Burnie trail sees the mobile postcode parked out at Heybridge, with the Mayor setting trail from Blythe Heads.

Somewhere.

Really, it's not that big a place.

On! On! will be called by the Trailmaster at 5pm.  Dyke's not real sure what it means, but people seem to enjoy him doing it.  Bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, $10, raffle change and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
†March 20th 2011—LoonRhasH @ Fern Glade, Burnie (BT)
April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
†June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
October 16th.2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1096 Mar 13th—A Bit of This @ Heybridge
1097 Mar 20th—Black Tracka @ Fern Glade
1098 Mar 27th—TBA
1099 Apr 3rd—Pucker and Swordy @ TBA
1100 Apr 10th—TBA

Friday 4 March 2011

HHH Hash Trash 04 March 2011

No longer in the glare of the spotlight of visiting Hash Relations, Burnie Hash returns to its own version of normal this week. Time to put away the unbreakable dinnerware and bring out the Royal Doulton tea sets again. Speed Hump has promised a normal Burnie r*n too, which means a shortish trail, NO hills and definitely NO pizza.
This week’s trail starts at the corner of Ridgley Highway and West Ridgley Road, approx 14 kms south of Burnie (signposted “To Guide Falls”).
On! is called at 5:00pm; bring a hat, mug, friend, $10, raffle change and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
†March 19th 2011—LoonRhasH @ Burnie (Dini)
†April 18th 2011—LoonRhasH (Devonport Hares)
†May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
†June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling
†October 16th.2011—Burnie Ten
†November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1095 Mar 6th—Speed Hump
†1096 Mar 13th—A Bit of This @ Heybridge
1097 Mar 20th—Black Tracka
1098 Mar 27th—TBA
1099 Apr 3rd—TBA

Friday 4 February 2011

HHH Hash Trash 04 February 2011

No effort has been spared to ensure that this week's Burnie Trail is well organised, even down to a special visit from the GM of Aussie Nash Hash 2011, who has been sent north on gardening leave.

The trail starts at the Somerset Surf Club (where hopefully they've forgotten about a certain tent episode) and takes in all the hotspots of a misspent youth (LA's not LaLa's).

On! is called at 5:00pm; bring a hat, mug, friend, $10 and raffle change.
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
Sunday 20th Feb 2011—Burnie HHH Pre-lube—Burnie CBD
Monday 21st Feb 2011—Devonport Pre-lube—Devonport CBD
Tuesday 22nd Feb 2011—Launceston pre-lube
Thursday 24th Feb 2011—Red Dress R*n, Hobart CBD
February 25-27th, 2011—Aussie Nash Hash, Hobart
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1093 Feb 13th—GonZo
1094 Feb 20th—Burnie Pre-Lube
Feb 27th No local r*n—we’re in Hobart
1095 Mar 6th—Speed Hump
1096 Mar 13th—A Bit of This
1097 Mar 20th—Black Tracka

Friday 28 January 2011

HHH Hash Trash 28 January 2011

As everyone busies themselves for ANH2011 (just an excuse for slackness from the On Sec and Web Wanker), Burnie Hash resumes it's 'normal' operations with a BUSH RUN!  Yay!  No asphalt, no choking car fumes, no doggie land-mines!

To get on trail, head to Ridgley, turn off to Guide Falls and continue past the Tewksbury turning. Carry on to the T junction of North Prospect Road and then turn right. Follow this road to the end and look for sign.

It's a 5:00pm start wit the On On back at the U-Ray abode.

Bring a hat, mug and $10 for food and bucket; bring chump change for the raffle.
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
Sunday 20th Feb 2011—Burnie HHH Pre-lube—Burnie CBD
Monday 21st Feb 2011—Devonport Pre-lube—Devonport CBD
Tuesday 22nd Feb 2011—Launceston pre-lube
Thursday 24th Feb 2011—Red Dress R*n, Hobart CBD
February 25-27th, 2011—Aussie Nash Hash, Hobart
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† 1092 Feb 6th—LaLa
1093 Feb 13th—GonZo
1094 Feb 20th—Burnie Pre-Lube
Feb 27th No local r*n—we’re in Hobart
1095 Mar 6th—TBA
1096 Mar 13th—TBA

Friday 14 January 2011

HHH Hash Trash 14 January 2011

Summer holidays in Australia often means caravanning - the art of removing half the contents of your home, shoving it into a tin box, towing the tin box fifty kilometres down the road and sitting back to enjoy the sunshine* while the 'little woman' (who may be a man, I'm not sexist ya know) has to do all the normal chores like cooking, washing and cleaning with twice the hassle normally associated with them.
* Can't remember what that means? Look it up!

Ratchet and Knickers enjoy caravanning, perhaps they can explain it to you this Sunday as you gather at the Port Sorell Caravan Park for a 5:00pm start.

Bring a hat, mug, chair, cordless vacuum cleaner and $10 for food and bucket; bring chump change for the raffle.
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 22th, Saturday—High Noon for Full Moon at Oatlands, set by Ringo and Grizzly.
Sunday 20th Feb 2011—Burnie HHH Pre-lube—Burnie CBD
Monday 21st Feb 2011—Devonport Pre-lube—Devonport CBD
Tuesday 22nd Feb 2011—Launceston pre-lube
Thursday 24th Feb 2011—Red Dress R*n, Hobart CBD
February 25-27th, 2011—Aussie Nash Hash, Hobart
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1089 Jan 16th—Ratchet & Knickers @ Port Sorell
1090 Jan 22nd —High Noon Oatlands
1091 Jan 30th—Bastard
1092 Feb 6th—TBA
1093 Feb 13th—GonZo
1094 Feb 20th—Burnie Pre-Lube
Feb 27th No local r*n—we’re in Hobart
1095 Mar 6th—TBA
1096 Mar 13th—TBA

Wednesday 12 January 2011

Two Moons are twice the fun


Even though we are all Looning off to Oatlands to be Masterbakers on Jan 22nd, the Full Moon we love to crave is actually two days earlier.
Devoted Loonies may gather at a public house (Furners) in Ulverstone at 7pm on Thursday January 20th to join with Hare Lip Flasher for stroll, sips and sustenance before baring their buns under the silvery glow of the January moon.
According to written club lore (the ink is still drying), attendance at this moonwa*k or at Oatlands will count as a LoonRhasH r*n

Friday 7 January 2011

HHH Hash Trash 07 January 2011

Hi-ho, hi-ho, a HOFTing we will go!

Chief dwarf Happy (last time I saw Dyke he was wearing a shirt proclaiming that he was gay - same thing) will be leading the Burnie Hash dwarves, Dopey, Dopey, Dopey, Dopey and Dopey ('cos you'd have to be dopey to follow Dyke anywhere!) on a day walk starting at Alma Bridge.

Meet at the Forth Pub at 10 am on Sunday 9 January - bring lunch and drinks, and money for Pub meal after.  Happy rates this outing as “easy-peasy”, around 13km in length and significantly flatter than Mount Roland.
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 22th, Saturday—High Noon for Full Moon at Oatlands, set by Ringo and Grizzly.
Sunday 20th Feb 2011—Burnie HHH Pre-lube—Burnie CBD
Monday 21st Feb 2011—Devonport Pre-lube—Devonport CBD
Tuesday 22nd Feb 2011—Launceston pre-lube
Thursday 24th Feb 2011—Red Dress R*n, Hobart CBD
February 25-27th, 2011—Aussie Nash Hash, Hobart
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1088 Jan 9th—Dyke HOFT @ Wilmot
1089 Jan 16th—Ratchet & Knickers @ Port Sorell