Monday 30 May 2011

Mismanagement committee 2011-12

The deck chairs have been shuffled; some remain resolutely bonded to the deck, while some have gone overboard.  Here's who to blame for the next twelve months:

Grand Master - GonZo
Joint Masters - Phay Ray and LaLa
On Sec - Dini
Hash Cash - Ratchet
Hash Hops - Ringo
Hash Lips - Pucker Boy and Chunder
Trailmaster - Dyke
Hash Flash - Phay Ray
Hash Hawker - Speed Hump
Hash Horn - Urang
Hash Monk - Tinsel Twat
Hashitorian - A Bit of This
Web Wanker - Grizzly

Friday 27 May 2011

HHH Hash Trash 27 May 2011

Each year at the eleventh hour of the eleventh month we stop to remember.  Remember what I can't say, because I've forgotten, but I remember to remember.

This Saturday we remember the 1111 (eleven-eleven) Burnie Hash trails that have laid down their flour to preserve our way of life.  Probably not worth it, really.

Second-Lieutenant Ratchet is in charge of orchestral manoeuvres in the dark, with the first wave heading over the trenches at 4pm from 1054 Isandula Rd, Gawler.

This will be followed by the AGPU, at which the existing Committee will be court-martialed, incarcerated, castrated, exonerated, then given a quick buff up and a new rank for the coming hash year.  That's the way we roll in Burnie.

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10 and extra drinks. Military Attire, Stiff Upper Lip and other parts as required.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
June 11-13th 2011 — Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1107 June 5th—Speed Hump @ TBA
1108 June 11-13—Highland Fling
1109 June 19th—TBA
† 1110 June 26th—Flasher @ Burnie Pool
† 1112 July 3rd—Sword Swallower @ TBA

Friday 20 May 2011

HHH Hash Trash 20 May 2011

Dear reader, my apologies for not posting last week.  I'd like to blame slackness, for that is the easiest to believe, but in this instance Mr Blogger was having Friday off and I could not acess the site during taxpayer-funded time.

The Phil Spectre of Burnie's AGPU looms large and a lot of people are looking nervous lest they be given a job!  Ah, who am I kidding; if you've attended more than 10 runs with Burnie in a year you'll ALWAYS get a job.  That's the way it works!

But I'm getting ahead of myself, for we still have one more tilt for a Bolt Error nomination for run of the year, with a GonZo run starting from the Woollies carp ark in Upper Burnie.  Much easier for GonZo to duck in and grab two miscellaneous food items from the shelf and try to convince everyone that it's a foreign delicacy and that it really tastes nice.  Trail starts at the unreasonably early hour of 3pm.

Bring: hat, mug, joke, friend, money for pub meal and drinks, plus your raffle money.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
† May 28th 2011 — Burnie HHH AGPU @ Ratchet and Knickers’ place, Gawler.  Theme this year is Armistice Day (Remember not to mention the war), as it is our Eleven Eleventh r*n. Witness the signing in of the new Cummittee and the beginning of a New World Hashing Order. Maybe. Military style attire may be worn, stiff upper lip, wot!
June 11-13th 2011 — Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
† August 20-21st — Launceston H3 1950th campout, venue TBA
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 15-16th — Burnie Ten weekend
† October 29-30th — H5 Oktoberfest, Bruny Island (date to be confirmed)
November 11th — Global Harriettes (11.11.11)
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1111 May 28th—AGPU
† 1107 June 5th—Speed Hump @ TBA
† 1108 June 11-13—Highland Fling
† 1109 June 19th—TBA
† 1110 June 26th—TBA
† 1112 July 3rd—TBA

Friday 6 May 2011

HHH Hash Trash 06 May 2011

No other day on the calendar strikes fear into a male's heart as much as Mothers Day.  Okay, maybe prostate check day is up there, but somehow a simple day to celebrate your own mother now includes anyone within the vicinity for whom the uterus has been stretched further than a politician's truth, plus anyone with the potential for motherhood who owns a cat, dog or Siberian hamster and speaks to it in nausiatiting human baby language.  Add to this the stress of buying a present that will never satisfy, an over-priced piece of cardboard containing words that you would never string together yourself even when pissed, and cooking a meal big enough to feed several central African tribes for a week.  Extend this pain further because your offspring are too broke or lack any real care factor to participate, so you have to cover for them as well.

Don't even get me started on the flowers.

Once upon a time it was TRADITIONAL for Burnie H3 NOT to r*n on Mothers Day, because frankly every male was too emotionally drained by the end of the day to participate.  Enter A Bit of This, who is to tradition what a well-placed bullet was to Osama's head.

So, THIS Mothers Day there WILL be a Burnie H3 trail and it will be set by a uterus-free hare, just to extend the day's glorious misery.  What's more, the hare will be setting a genuine live trail with the threat of a pantsing, cook the barbecue and then drive three and a half hours just to get home.

Happy Mothers Day, my arse.

Trail starts at the earlier time of 3pm from the Penguin Sports Centre, Ironcliffe Road, Penguin (just past Penguin High School, which I only mention because you can never have too many Penguins) and will be set by hare Grizzly.

Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, raffle change, and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.

It should be noted that 95% of fathers are just happy with a six pack of beer and to be left alone to watch sport on the television on Fathers Day.
-------------------------------
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
-------------------------------
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This @ TBA
† 1106 May 22nd—GonZo @ TBA
1111 May 28th—AGPU