HHH Hash Trash 16 January 2009

Happy campers at Port Sorell are used to strange sights, such as Ratchet riding around on his bike in his budgie smugglers and Knickers uprooting half the coastal fauna.  This Sunday they can add to their experiences as Burnie Hash spreads canvas from the Port Sorell caravan park, with a run set by Knickers *cough*.  There's a fuzzy sort of GoneAgain style map thingy picture at http://vanpraag.info/HHH/PortSorell.jpg.

The r*n starts at 5:30pm; bring hat, mug, $10 for food and bucket, novelty large hand, chair, joke and friend.  Bring extra cash for a splash in GonZo's fairy penguin booty.  I don't even know what that means.

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Just for a lark…
Hashers and local whiskey lovers are invited to attend a tasting evening of Lark Distillery wares at the West Mooreville Rd chicken and moose farm, starting at 6:30 pm on Friday 23rd January.  Cost is $15 for those participating in the tastings, with substantial food provided.  There may also be a Ringo-shaped birthday cake!  BYO other drinks if desired.

Sounds good enough reason to leave God's-own Cascade Country - just for the weekend, mind you.
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No surprise result in the last poll, which asked 'Which side will win the Beer War?'.  68% responded 'Boags Empire', with 31% (i.e Grizzly van der Kuunt) responding 'Cascade Colonials'.  That was until the Web Wanker reset the poll, meaning that Cascade was favoured by 98% of respondents.  It should have been 100%, but some of those pesky Urangs are hard to remove.

This week's poll is: Which punishment should be meted out for an errant Trailmaster? (or it will be when I can get the poll thingy to work)
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 22 - Chardonnay H3 555th run, AGPU and 10th anniversary @ TBA
† January 23 - Lark distillery tasting @ West Mooreville Rd chicken farm
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 981 - Jan 18 - Knickers @ Port Sorell caravan park
† R*n 982 - Jan 25 - mystery hare @ Burnie

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

Kuunt Routed After Boags Walkover

AAP(Rooter) – Ross, Tasmania.

The Southern Hordes are without direction after Grizzly van der Kuunt’s leadership saw them comprehensively creamed by the victorious Boagans in a head-to-balls hard-on this weekend.

Lord Ringo Kitchendraw claimed victory at midnight atop the historic Ross Bridge, and along with several trusted comrades, saluted The Full Moon in the traditional Boagan style.

By Sunday morning, the Cascade Colonials could barely raise a route-march as they were outclassed on all fronts.

-Superior weaponry - Urang called it “a machine for annoying the crap out of Hashers by throwing water bombs at them while making the operator twice as wet”. We called it a catapult.

-Superior drinking skills – Both Anchor Harriettes suffered some spillage, but Hands On was humbled in the Wet T-shirt stakes as Puss in Boots had a bigger catchment area.

-Superior Ironmen – Urang employed his usual table manners to snatch victory from the lesser jaws of Jacques le Shiit. In the rematch, Northern newbie Jayson claimed victory over southern stalwart Crusha by a short half Weetabix.

-Superior Style – tighter shirts, louder music, bongo drums, and sexier underwear.

Lord Ringo commended his troops on their magnificent victory, but warned that, in light of many Boagans’ illiteracy, media manipulation by Southern Boerish Webwankers could see blatant mis-reporting of the battle.

Van der Kuunt is said to have taken refuge at a local bowling green serving Riccadonna to the silver-haired patrons.

Cascade Colonials rout Boags Empire

Having reviewed the photographic evidence from Saturday's border skirmish at Ross and having impeached 'impartial' judge A Bit of This, leader of the Cascade Colonials Grizzly van der Kuunt has declared a walkover victory to the South over the North. Evidence clearly shows northern grunt Puss In Boots did not skol her beer as anchor in the boat race but instead used it as a facial. This was compounded in the Iron Man contest when that cheating bastard Urang finished with more food in his beard than was actually consumed.

Cmdr Kuunt was glowing in his praise of his troops, "We had a lot of defections, leaving us with only a small band of hardy, well-trained troops, but right was on our side and the border territory of Ross will fly the Cascade flag forevermore."

"I was extremely disappointed in the bias shown by the representative from the so-called independent nation of Guinness, who showed her true colours in the ladies tug-o-war, albeit as part of a beaten side."

Lord Ringo Kitchendrawer could not be contacted for comment.

HHH Hash Trash 2 January 2009

Trailmaster Chunder is a wise man.  He knows that by setting the first run of 2009 he will ever-so-briefly be the hare of the best run of the year.

Trailmaster Chunder left explicit instructions on the venue for this Sunday's trail.  He said that if they weren't followed to the letter, woe is you (he actually typed "wow" is you, but you get that).  Unfortunately, his instructions needed interpretation; so here it is…

Head toward Sisters Beach, look for a tall hare approximately 5.4km from Bass Highway (or 4km past the Boat Harbour turn-off - but DON'T head toward Boat Harbour). By my reckoning, that puts trail around the start point of the Postman's Track.  On on is at 5:30pm.

Trailmaster Chunder needs a large skol - this is the third of his runs where the on on is at a pub (top pub in Wynyard) rather than breaking out the barbie.

Bring a hat, money for a counter meal and drinks, egg timer, and a friend. Bring extra money for a chance to win in the raffle, hopefully something from the bottle shop.

Trailmaster Chunder needs to pull his finger out and start finding hares for the rest of the hashing year!
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The Cascade Colonials are marshalling their forces for the big High Noon for Full Moon battle at Ross on Saturday 10th January.  They recently found four closet Boags drinkers and had then summarily executed as traitors.  Head Colonial Grizzly van der Kuunt is whipping his southern troops into shape, that shape apparently being round and blobby.

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Last week's poll hardly rates a mention - with three people responding "I needed that?", two people responding "Yawn..." and one person responding "WTF!?!" in reference to their Secret Santa present.

This week's poll is: Which side will win the Beer War?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
† January 22 - Chardonnay H3 555th run, AGPU and 10th anniversary @ TBA
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 979 - Jan 4 - Chunder @ Sisters Beach
R*n 980 - Jan 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
† R*n 981 - Jan 18 - Chunder @ somewhere that has barbecuing facilities

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas from Fab and Backdoor

Click to see your e-Christmas card

HI ALL YOU HASHERS, WE HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT XMAS AND A VERY SAFE AND ENJOYABLE NEW YEAR.

LOVE FAB & BACKDOOR

Mary Chris Miss

To all Burnie hashers, our fiends from the DickHead Hash, remote blog followers and regular correspondent 'anonymous' I wish a merry Christmas.

There is no home hash this Sunday, as everyone will be too fat to waddle very far (how is that any different to normal, I hear you ask).

Hashing resumes with a New Year's Eve stroll from the House of Hump.

On! On!
Bad Santa

HHH Hash Trash 19th December 2008

You'd better watch out! You'd better not cry! You'd better not pout, I'm telling you why… Satan Claws is coming to town!

As shares in tinsel, fake snow and beer continue their upward trend, Burnie hashers gather underneath the cameltoe for a festive jaunt around Burnie, before exchanging gifts that are, remarkably, nearly all the same (just like this e-mail).

Santas should gather at the southern (Jones St) end of the Burnie Civic Centre car park for a 5:30pm ho ho. Bring a plate of Christmas goodies to share and a wrapped gift to the value of $10. On On will be at the King Komm Retirement Village, 457 Mooreville Road, Burnie

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You've all been very bad! According to last week's poll you're all getting a lump of coal for Christmas (although probably a step up from a framed photo of FC).

Battery-powered candles (yes, there is such a thing* - just ask Ringo and Dini) and gnomes also polled well.

This week's poll is: What did you think of your Secret Santa present?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

* and it's not a sex aid
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
R*n 977 - Dec 21 - Phay Ray and Urang's Christmas R*n @ Burnie Civic Centre car park
No r*n on December 28
R*n 978 - Dec 31 - Speed Hump's NYE Night on the Terrace
R*n 979 - Jan 4 - Chunder @ TBA
R*n 980 - Jan 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross


Merry Christmas to all, and to all an On! On!
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

High Noon for Full Moon VI

In 1901 the newly-formed nation of Australia was drawn into its first conflict, as an empire took on some upstart colonials on the African continent.

In 2009 the battle in the Boer Beer War continues in Tasmania as the forces of Lord Ringo’s Boags Empire take on the rag-tag Cascade colonials, led by Grizzly van der Kuunt, at the border territory of Ross.

The charge of the Light Beer Brigade begins at noon on Saturday 10th January 2009, and forces should marshal in full regalia outside the Ross Caravan Park.

Soldiers should bring their own meat rations and an extra canteen, lest you suffer from strong thirst.

Forces assigned to remain on the battlefield overnight will need to arrange their own bivouac.

Boags forces can receive further orders from Lt Col Dini (dini@dhash.com), while Cascade colonials can contact Grizzly (grizzly@dhash.com).

“Hash straight, you bastards!” - Breaker Morbeer

HHH Hash Trash 12 December 2008

On the first day of Christmas, my Trailmaster said to me… Giggles is the hare, not due to any effort by me.
Burnie Hash's chief lipstick consultant is setting trail this week from her parents' farm on Elphinstones Road, Calder (left off  Bass Highway, Wynyard, on to Calder Rd (C235) and follow for approximately 11.6km).

Bring a hat, mug, $10 for bucket and burgers, piece of wood, Christmas card, and a friend. Wearing of lipstick compulsory. Bring extra money for a chance to win a stuffed penguin in the raffle.

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The Burnie Christmas Extravaganza Run commences from the top end of the Civic Centre Car Park at 5.30 sharp on Sunday 21st December. Bring along a wrapped present each to the value of $5.00 and a plate of Christmas fare to share. Wear your most dashing Christmas outfit and extra drinks for later in the evening. On on will be at the King's Retirement Home, Mooreville Road, Burnie.

Luv and kisses - Phay Ray
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The people have spoken!  It's DT's knee on which most hashers wish to sit this Christmas!
There was a fair amount of vote changing during the week, with Urang well ahead at one stage.  DT recorded six votes, three ahead of Urang, with Ratchet and Ringo both collecting two votes.  Only one person thought it appropriate to sit on Slacko's knee, which is just as well because that's all there's room for.

This week's poll is: What will be this year's hot Christmas gift?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
† February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 976 - Dec 14 - Giggles @ Elphinstones Rd, Calder
R*n 977 - Dec 21 - Phay Ray and Urang's Christmas R*n @ Burnie Civic Centre car park
No r*n on December 28
R*n 978 - Dec 31 - Speed Hump's NYE Night on the Terrace
R*n 979 - Jan 4 - Chunder @ TBA
R*n 980 - Jan 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 05 December 2008

It is with much trepidation that Burnie Hash again puts its collective faith into the hands of yet another hare from DickHead hash.  Memories of being led into the darkness of Dial Range, and more recently thrashing around in Leven Canyon, are all too fresh.

Yet, here we are again.  This time it's Dyke who has been handed the metaphysical scrotum of Burnie Hash - will he gently lead it on a refreshing ramble, or will he engage the squirrel grip?

The r*n starts at 5:30pm from Dyke's digs at 2/64 Tugrah Road Devonport; bring a hat, mug, $10 for bucket and burgers, piece of wood, codpiece, and a friend. Bring extra money for a chance to win in the raffle.  We're raffling GonZo off to Chardonnay, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.

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The Burnie Christmas Extravaganza Run commences from the top end of the Civic Centre Car Park at 5.30 sharp on Sunday 21st December. Bring along a wrapped present each to the value of $5.00 and a plate of Christmas fare to share. Wear your most dashing Christmas outfit and extra drinks for later in the evening. On on will be at the King's Retirement Home, Mooreville Road, Burnie.

Luv and kisses - Phay Ray

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Unsurprisingly, Burnie's blue jackets topped last week's poll (8 votes) to find which Tasmania club's hash haberdashery had the most impact.  DickHead's bright yellow groin warmers and H5's unflattering rugby tops each received two votes.  One Hump was obviously the only person to vote for Launceston's one-size-fits-no-one tee shirts.

This week's poll is: In the absence of Bad Santa from this year's Christmas run, who's knee would you like to sit on?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 7 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
R*n 975 - Dec 7 - Dyke @ Devonport
R*n 976 - Dec 14 - Giggles @ Calder Rd, Wynyard
† R*n 977 - Dec 21 - Phay Ray and Urang's Christmas R*n @ Burnie Civic Centre car park
No r*n on December 28
† R*n 978 - Dec 31 - Speed Hump's NYE Night on the Terrace
† R*n 979 - Jan 4 - Chunder @ TBA
† R*n 980 - Jan 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/