No other day on the calendar strikes fear into a male's heart as much as Mothers Day. Okay, maybe prostate check day is up there, but somehow a simple day to celebrate your own mother now includes anyone within the vicinity for whom the uterus has been stretched further than a politician's truth, plus anyone with the potential for motherhood who owns a cat, dog or Siberian hamster and speaks to it in nausiatiting human baby language. Add to this the stress of buying a present that will never satisfy, an over-priced piece of cardboard containing words that you would never string together yourself even when pissed, and cooking a meal big enough to feed several central African tribes for a week. Extend this pain further because your offspring are too broke or lack any real care factor to participate, so you have to cover for them as well.
Don't even get me started on the flowers.
Once upon a time it was TRADITIONAL for Burnie H3 NOT to r*n on Mothers Day, because frankly every male was too emotionally drained by the end of the day to participate. Enter A Bit of This, who is to tradition what a well-placed bullet was to Osama's head.
So, THIS Mothers Day there WILL be a Burnie H3 trail and it will be set by a uterus-free hare, just to extend the day's glorious misery. What's more, the hare will be setting a genuine live trail with the threat of a pantsing, cook the barbecue and then drive three and a half hours just to get home.
Happy Mothers Day, my arse.
Trail starts at the earlier time of 3pm from the Penguin Sports Centre, Ironcliffe Road, Penguin (just past Penguin High School, which I only mention because you can never have too many Penguins) and will be set by hare Grizzly.
Bring: Hat Mug Joke Friend $10, raffle change, and extra drinks if you are a p*sshead.
It should be noted that 95% of fathers are just happy with a six pack of beer and to be left alone to watch sport on the television on Fathers Day.
UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
May 28th 2011—Burnie HHH AGPU
June 11-13th 2011—Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Bronte Park
August 13-14th — Guildford rides again, come as your favourite Terrorist??
September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse
October 16th 2011—Burnie Ten
November 11th 2011—Global Harriettes
RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
1105 May 15th—A Bit of This @ TBA
† 1106 May 22nd—GonZo @ TBA
1111 May 28th—AGPU