Dickhead of the week - R*n 890

NICER PAIR-A-TIFFS

For going under cover to avoid Slack Mac

Next R*n - No. 890

R*n 890, Sunday 29th April 2007, 3:30pm start
Hare: DeeTee
On on: 26 Stirling Street Montello
Hash cash: $8
Bring: hat, mug and joke

This r*n has a Mexican theme, so get your sister, Belinda, to use the toilet instead

HOFT (Hash Old Fart Trekkers) adventure #3

HOFT #1 – Alma Bridge to Spellmans Bridge DONE!!!
HOFT #2 – Walls of Jerusalem DONE!!!

HOFT #3 (Proposed)

When: Sunday May 27^th 2007
Where: Black Bluff via Taylors flats
Length: 13.8Km (Return)
Time: 6.5 Hours
Grade: Not for wussies
Climb: 1030M

On On
Tracka

Vale Shirley-Anne

It is with great sadness that we note the passing of Shirley-Anne Allison, wife of Cistern and a former Burnie hasher herself, who passed away late last week after a long battle with cancer.

Our thoughts are with Cistern, family and friends.

Two little black ducks - fifty-two; another member of Cloud 9 H3.

Next R*n - No. 889

R*n 889, Sunday 22nd April 2007, 3:30pm start
Hare: Knickers
On on: 1054 Isandula Road, Gawler
Hash cash: $8
Bring: hat, mug and joke

Happy Birthday Phay Ray

Many happy returns to our resident immaculate hasher, Phay Ray, who turns an indeterminate age today!

HHH Burnie Hash Trash April 20

The new Mismanagement Committee has been sworn in and, by Sunday afternoon, sworn at.

This week’s trail is being set by Knickers from 1054 Isandula Road, despite Ratchet desperately wanting to go to the footy in Launceston. Ratchet is such a footy fanatic.

The pack will start off at 3:30pm, give or take a Ringo moment.

Bring a hat, mug and joke. You know the drill. I’d say wear footy gear to help ease Ratchet’s pain at missing out on the footy, but I don’t think that anyone has any.

Don’t forget the Targa breakfast at King Komm from 7:00am. Bring breakfast goodies to share around.

UP AND CUMMING…

Apr 22 – Targa breakfast @ King Comm (7am start)
Apr 25 – Hash Old Farts Trekkers to Walls of Jerusalem (or alternate if weather less than kind)
Jun 9-10 – Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Great Lakes Hotel
Jun 23-24 - Devonport H3 Shortest Run Weekend @ Guildford (to be confirmed)
Jul 7 - Global Harriettes Run (07.07.07)
Jul 7 - Hobart Hash Ball
Aug 25-26 - Devonport H3 Tour de Pisse
Mar 21-23 2008 - Interhash, Perth WA

RECEDING HARELINE

R*n 889 - Apr 22 - Knickers – 1054 Isandula Road
R*n 890 - Apr 29 - Dick Tayshun – Montello (Mexican theme)
R*n 891 - May 6 - Lone Arranger - TBA

On on
Grizzly

HOFT (Hash Old Fart Trekkers) adventure #2

ANZAC DAY – 2007 – 25^th April 2007

Where: Walls of Jerusalem (to Lake Salome & return)
Distance: 13.2km
Approx. Time: 5.5 Hours
Rating: Medium
Total Climbing: 900m

Alternate: Quamby Bluff
Distance: 5.8km
Approx. Time: 3 Hours
Rating: Medium
Total Climbing: 500m
Meet at Wenvoe Street (Devonport) Car Park at 7am.
Decision on which trek to be made on the day.

Bring:
Good Shoes & Socks
Change of clothes
Rain jacket
Warm polar fleece or similar
Lunch and drinks for yourself
$$ for refreshments afterwards

On On
Tracka

The 2007-08 Mismanagement Committee

GRAND MASTER

The Grand Master – phallic head of Burnie Hash; sage advisor to the Joint Masters or the dagger behind their backs. The titular head with a decent set of tits, we present your new Grand Master – Speed Hump!

JOINT MASTERS

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and Joint Masters are inherently absolutely corrupted. The Joint Master-ship is a team, but not all JMs have known which team they were meant to be playing for. The destiny of Burnie Hash is now in the hands of your new Joint Masters – Lone Arranger and Phay Ray!

ON SEX

Burnie Hash has been able to maintain an important record of its history, or at least a version of it, since the very first run back in 1978. The sacred duty of documenting the facts and making up new ones is a large task, too large for just one person. This year we have appointed two tried and trusted typists of truth, ladies and gentlemen we now give to you your new On Sex, Ratchet and Dini!

HASH CASH

Paragon of financial integrity and master of creative accounting; each successive Hash Cash has kept the club barely afloat while amazingly funding their own overseas trips. A head for facts and figures, and a new car to fund, we present your new Hash Cash - Dick Tracey!

HASH HOPS

Without doubt, the Hash Hops is THE most important position in Hash; you can see the beads of sweat appear when the Hops is late to arrive, let alone the wailing and gnashing of teeth when you get up on a Sunday morning in a dry Waratah to find the Hops' car gone. This year’s Hops is a reformed alcoholic and a career inebriate. Ladies and gentlemen we present your new Hash Hops – Urang!

HASH LIP

Hash circle is an integral component of our weekly Hash outing and the Hash Lip is the ringmaster. An orator on par with Winston Churchill, Robert Menzies and Jeff Fenech, this year’s Hash Lip makes Paul Keating look like Marcel Maceau. Ladies and gentlemen we present your new Hash Lip – Ringo!

TRAILMASTER

A shepherd, a guiding light, a master hare - Trailmasters do more than put names to dates, they are professors of Trail-ology. Ladies and gentlemen we give to you your new Trailmaster – Grizzly!

HASH FLASH

The Hash Flash needs to be Johnny-on-the-spot, with a keen eye for detail and a steady hand. This year’s Hash Flash must know a lot about photographs because she keeps asking for them. Ladies and gentlemen we present your new Hash Flash - GonZo.

HASH HAWKER

Who could sell ice to Eskimos, coal to Newcastle and sequined hot pants to Penguin homophobes? That would be the Hash Hawker, and who better to put in charge of shopping than a woman. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you your new Hash Hawker – Knickers!

HASH HORN

Musical adept, tonally astute and instrumentally gifted; these terms have never been associated with the Hash Horn. Until now. This year’s Hash Horn could make a fart sound like Mozart’s fifth movement. Ladies and gentlemen we give to you your new Hash Horn – Urang!

HASH MONK

The spiritual leader of Hash, this position requires someone with high moral fibre well versed in Hash lore, and with connections in the highest of places. This year’s Hash monk couldn’t make it rain to save the English cricket team so we expect the same for Burnie Hash. Ladies and gentlemen, we present your new Hash Monk - A Bit Of This!

Next R*n - No. 888 and the Burnie H3 AGPU

R*n 888, Saturday 14th April 2007, 6:30pm start
Hare: Ringo
On on: Cark park at the western end of West Beach, Burnie (formerly the Adult Ed)
Hash cash: $25 for three course meal, some grog and other goodies
Bring: own grog (some supplied but not only enough for a big night out)
Country and Western theme - dress to ready to yee and haw

HHH Burnie Hash Trash April 13

The moment has arrived – the Golden Gut-Arse have been dusted off and the engraver busy etching G-R-I-Z-Z-L-Y onto the Bolt Error Award for Best Trail of the Year. The King Komm Tumworth Country Stables have been swept and the red hay rolled out for the visiting celebrities.

This SATURDAY is the Burnie H3 AGPU and R*n 888 starting at 6:30 from the car park at the western end of West Beach. This will be followed by a quick circle, then dinner and the Golden Gut-Arse awards. The JMs will then bring the Year of the Chunder to a close by announcing the next democratically-elected mismanagement committee (I voted GonZo for On Sec).

$25 will get you a three course meal, some grog*, a badge, (?)entertainment and the world-famous BH3 Anal Report
* hash bucket and some wine available - BYO drink of choice for a big night out

There will not be a r*n on the Sunday due to the strong likelihood of hangovers.

UP AND CUMMING…

Apr 22 – Targa breakfast @ King Comm (7am start)
Apr 25 – Hash Old Farts Trekkers to Walls of Jerusalem (or alternate if weather less than kind)
Jun 9-10 – Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Great Lakes Hotel
Jun 23-24 - Devonport H3 Shortest Run Weekend @ Guildford (to be confirmed)
Jul 7 - Global Harriettes Run (07.07.07)
Jul 7 - Hobart Hash Ball
Aug 25-26 - Devonport H3 Tour de Pisse
Mar 21-23 2008 - Interhash, Perth WA

RECEDING HARELINE

R*n 888 - Saturday April 14 - Ringo and Urang - AGPU! - Burnie
R*n 889 - Apr 22 - Knickers - TBA
R*n 890 - Apr 29 - Dick Tayshun – Montello (Mexican theme)
R*n 891 - May 6 - Lone Arranger - TBA

On on
Grizzly

RE: RED DRESS RUN

*** IMPORTANT ***

Due to our recent win in the UK National Lottery (Check dhhh.blogspot.com) the RED DRESS RUN originally planned for Monday 16^th April 2007 has now been postponed until further notice.

The run will now start from the ROCKET PARK in Ulverstone at 6.30pm with the ON ON at Pioneer’s House.

(Save your red dresses for later)

ON ON
Tracka

Red Dress Run

Dear All,

You would have noticed the two fine upstanding hashers on page five of The Advocate today.

If not, have a look - it's good for a laugh.

Anyway, DH3 is holding a Red Dress Run on Monday night.

The cost for the run will be $5, plus the normal DH3 fee of $10 ($15 in total).

The idea of the run is to raise funds for charity and to also stick it up the dick-head homophobes who live in Penguin (as discussed at Devonport Hash last Monday night).

We would like to welcome one and all hashers to join us on this run.

The run leaves Hiscutt Park at the pre-ordained DH3 time of 6.30 p.m. (which actually means closer to 6.45 p.m.).

Your $15 expenditure is all inclusive and covers food and drinks.

The On-On will be at Bastard's fine establishment after the run (6 Adina Place).

See you there,

On-On

Dint

Another HOFT adventure

Please see http://www.dhhh.blogspot.com for details of another HOFT adventure……

Red Dress Run - Devonport H3

Following your Golden Gut-Arse awards, what better way to use your red cocktail dress than to turn up to the first RED DRESS RUN for Devonport HHH on Monday 16th April 2007.

Starts at 6.30pm from Penguin’s Hiscutt Park.

Normal $10 charge for On On, plus an extra $5 that will be donated to a worthwhile charity. Guaranteed short(ish) run - Bastard is the hare.

ON ON
Tracka

Targa breakfast

The annual King Komm Targa breakfast is on again, starting at 7:00am on Sunday 22nd April.
Come along and view all the Targa cars as they head off toward the wild west coast.
No cost, just bring along some breakfast stuffs to share.

Chardonnay H3 Highland Fling

Where? The Great Lake Hotel - cnr Lake and Marlborough Highways, Miena

When? June 9th and 10th 2007

How much? $60

What do I get?

• run (Sat and Sun)
  
• piss stop, food and drink after runs
  
• two-course evening meal
  
• entertainment
  
• accommodation
  
• breakfast
  
• badge and gift

Book early as numbers are limited
Accommodation available Friday and Sunday nights at $20 per person

Dickhead of the week - R*n 887

CHUNDER

For 'setting' an invisible, long false trail

Next R*n - No. 887

R*n 887, Sunday 1st April 2007, 4:30pm start
Hare: GonZo
On on: Boat ramp, Irby Boulevard, Sisters Beach
Hash cash: $8
Bring: Hat, mug and joke

Note the change in time due to the end of daylight saving