HHH Hash Trash 27 February 2009

Having spent months staring wistfully out to sea, it's understandable that this week's hare, GonZo, is keeping her webbed feet moist with a run this Sunday starting at 5:30pm from the top boat ramp on the Inglis River. Yes, the TOP boat ramp. We all know what that means, don't we?

The feck I do. Top boat ramp? I lived in Wynyard for five years but I couldn't tell you how many boat ramps there are and where they are located! Top pub I know, but top boat ramp?!?

So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say that this week's trail starts from the boat ramp off Saunders Street, Wynyard (near the bridge) on the basis that it's the only boat ramp in Wynyard I know. Here's the Google link:

View Larger Map
If this is the wrong boat ramp, then a) it's not the first time and b) someone (i.e. GonZo or the Trailmaster) will let everyone know.

Assuming that you arrive at the boat ramp and other hashers are there, you should bring $10 for food and grog, a hat, mug, joke, friend, oar, piece of wood, (oar what?) and extra cash for GonZo's naughty-cal raffle.
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According to last week's poll, the best marketing plan for Nash Hash 2011 is to wear a map of Tasmania - just as well we don't live in Italy. Eleven people enjoy looking at a map of Tasmania, eclipsing the thylacine (2), beer (2) and apples (1 - was that YOU, Brian?).

This week's poll is: What should be the theme for Burnie's 1000th run celebration?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
February 28-March 1 - H5 Hamilton weekend
April 4-5 - weekend HOFT to see Nelson Montezuma fall
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
June 6-8 - Chardonnay Highland Fling @ TBA
June 21 - Burnie 1000th
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 987 - Mar 01 - GonZo @ top boat ramp on Inglis River, Wynyard
† R*n 989 - Mar 08 - Dyke's mini HOFT @ TBA
† R*n 990 - Mar 15 - Mystery heiress @ TBA
† R*n 991 - Mar 22 - Chunder @ TBA
† R*n 992 - Mar 29 - TBA @ TBA
† R*n 993 - Apr 4-5 - Dyke's maxi HOFT to Montezuma and Nelson Falls
† R*n 994 - April 12 - Giggles @ TBA

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 20 February 2009

That industrious hare, Speed Hump, has engineered an amazing trail this week, starting at 5:30pm from outside Stratton's Engineering in River Road, Wivenhoe.

Hearts will be pumping and hashers will get piston the weekly Hops offering, all for the meagre sum of $10; bring a hat, mug, joke, friend, silk purse, piece of wood and extra cash for GonZo's penguin-free raffle.
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Don't forget the Swine '09 - Park Beach H3's 10th anniversary Pig Pen run on Saturday 21 February. Full details at http://www.pigpenrun.org/.
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There was a tie in the results of last week's poll, with Green Acres' Arnold Ziffel and Animal Farm's Napoleon topping the list as the celebrity pig who would make the best hasher. Arnold was a cross-dresser (Arnold was a female), so I can understand the link to hash having walked around Hobart in a dress, while Napoleon was much like some JMs, whose names I dare not mention.

Miss Piggy and Porky Pig each recorded two votes - Miss Piggy I can understand, but what about Porky Pig says 'hash'?
One poll respondent selected Sam Newman; I will hunt this person down and ensure all web access privileges are revoked indefinitely.

This week's poll is: Which icon should be used to promote Tasmania at Nash Hash?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
February 21 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
February 25 - LH3/4 Launceston Cup hospitality tent
February 28-March 1 - H5 Hamilton weekend
April 4-5 - weekend HOFT to see Nelson Montezuma fall
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
June 6-8 - Chardonnay Highland Fling @ TBA
June 21 - Burnie 1000th
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
R*n 986 - Feb 22 - Speed Hump @ River Road, Wivenhoe
R*n 987 - Mar 01 - GonZo @ TBA

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 13 February 2009

While today is all black and catty, tomorrow is all red and rosy as hashers from around the state come together (ooh-aah) in their rouge-hued finery for the annual Red Dress charity run.

This year the run is supporting Cystic Fibrosis Tasmania and their '65 Roses' awareness campaign ('65 Roses' is held to be a small child's attempt to say 'Cystic Fibrosis'). Cystic Fibrosis, or CF, is the most common life threatening, recessive genetic condition affecting Australian children, with at least 30% of teenagers with the disease not reaching adulthood.

Red-dressed hashers should assemble at the Regatta Pavilion at 1:30pm for pre-run fashion shoot, with 'on on' being called at 2:00pm. Cost is $25, which covers run, p!ss stop, special commemorative pin, printed patch, food and some after run drinks (BYO supplies if you want more than a taste).

View Larger Map

Afterwards, those finding themselves all frocked up with no place to go will head to a local drinking establishment and try not to get kicked out because they're too old.
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Don't forget the Swine '09 - Park Beach H3's 10th anniversary Pig Pen run on Saturday 21 February. Full details at http://www.pigpenrun.org/.
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The Burnie Hash red fashion stakes have been won by Ratchet, despite (or because of) some late fashion shots of Ringo and Urang.

This week's poll is: Which celebrity pig would make the best hasher?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
† February 21 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
February 25 - LH3/4 Launceston Cup hospitality tent
† February 28 - Launceston H3 AGPU cancelled due to Cup inebriation
February 28-March 1 - H5 Hamilton weekend
April 4-5 - weekend HOFT to see Nelson Montezuma fall
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
June 6-8 - Chardonnay Highland Fling @ TBA
June 21 - Burnie 1000th
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
R*n 985 - Feb 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart Regatta Grounds
R*n 986 - Feb 22 - Speed Hump @ River Road, Wivenhoe
R*n 987 - Mar 01 - GonZo @ TBA

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 6 February 2009

Somewhere on the outer tendrils of Burnie's suburbia a hare can be see gambolling among the thistles.  On closer inspection, it can't really be called gambolling; not even capering to tell the truth.  Lead-footed stomping might be more descriptive.  Nevertheless, hare Dini sets this week's trail starting from the fresh produce outlet on Mount Road, just south of and opposite to Singline Avenue in Singline's Estate, upper upper downer Burnie.

The r*n starts at 5:30pm; bring hat, mug, $10 for food and bucket, pearls, chair, joke and friend. Bring extra cash for a chance to rummage around in GonZo's red bag of mystery objects.
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It would appear, unsurprisingly, that Burnie hashers would rather trust Ivan Milat than trust a Devonport hasher with the Hashit.  It also appears that Flasher can access eight computers, or has an infinite number of monkeys clicking away at an infinite number of computers, while DickHead Web Wanker GoneAgain proved that running fifty three blogs keeps you too busy to rig a poll in your favour.  Dyke, in recording no votes whatsoever, proved that he is possibly the only honest DH hasher and therefore a worthy recipient of the Hashit (albeit a replica, ice cream bucket version).

This week's poll is: Which male hasher looks best in a red dress?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
February 25 - LH3/4 Launceston Cup hospitality tent
February 28 - Launceston H3 AGPU
February 28-March 1 - H5 Hamilton weekend
April 4-5 - weekend HOFT to see Nelson Montezuma fall
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
June 6-8 - Chardonnay Highland Fling @ TBA
June 21 - Burnie 1000th
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 984 - Feb 8 - Dini @ Mount Road, Burnie
R*n 985 - Feb 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart Regatta Grounds
R*n 986 - Feb 22 - Trailmaster @ TBA

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 30 January 2009

Feelin' hot, hot, hot.  Summer is here with a vengeance and a fine weekend awaits, with this week's hare Phay Ray letting the puppies out for a stroll in rural Ridgley; look for signs on Circular Road (left just before the shop).  The on on will be removed to the King Maximum Security Retirement Home and Pilates Centre.

The r*n starts at 5:30pm; bring hat, mug, $10 for food and bucket, twin set, chair, joke and friend. Bring extra cash for a chance in GonZo's Boags reject raffle.
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Some go in hard.  Some search for the truth.  But according to last week's poll, never underestimate the value of a rubber chicken!

This week's poll is: Which Devonport hasher would you trust by awarding the Hashit?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
February 28-March 1 - H5 Hamilton weekend
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 983 - Feb 1 - Phay Ray @ Ridgley
† R*n 984 - Feb 8 - Trailmaster @ TBA
R*n 985 - Feb 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart Regatta Grounds

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 23 January 2009

There's nothing more Aussie than a mystery snag on the barbie, unless it's a mystery hare on the receding hareline!
This Australia Day weekend Sunday, mystery hare %#!$$(^ will be setting trail from the Romaine Reserve, off Amanda Court in Burnie.

The r*n starts at 5:30pm; bring hat, mug, $10 for food and bucket, zinc cream, chair, joke and friend. Bring extra cash for a splash in GonZo's ethereal raffle.
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Just for a lark…
Hashers and local whiskey lovers are invited to attend a tasting evening of Lark Distillery wares at the West Mooreville Rd chicken and moose farm, starting at 6:30 pm on Friday 23rd January (TONIGHT). Cost is $15 for those participating in the tastings, with substantial food provided. There may also be a Ringo-shaped birthday cake! BYO other drinks if desired.
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MYSTERY HARE, I say.  How exciting!
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While some recommended some physical form of punishment for an errant Trailmaster, most think that the appropriate measure is to make him (or her - the poll didn't state which year's Trailmaster) do it again!  That sounds more like punishment for the poor On Sec and Web Wanker, who are left to fill blank spaces in the 'next run' and 'receding hareline'.

This week's poll is: Which poll question will attract the most votes?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).
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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 23 - Lark distillery tasting @ West Mooreville Rd chicken farm
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
† February 28-March 1 - H5 Hamilton weekend
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 982 - Jan 25 - mystery hare @ Romaine Reserve
† R*n 983 - Feb 8 - Chunder knows @ TBA
† R*n 984 - Feb 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart Regatta Grounds

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

HHH Hash Trash 16 January 2009

Happy campers at Port Sorell are used to strange sights, such as Ratchet riding around on his bike in his budgie smugglers and Knickers uprooting half the coastal fauna.  This Sunday they can add to their experiences as Burnie Hash spreads canvas from the Port Sorell caravan park, with a run set by Knickers *cough*.  There's a fuzzy sort of GoneAgain style map thingy picture at http://vanpraag.info/HHH/PortSorell.jpg.

The r*n starts at 5:30pm; bring hat, mug, $10 for food and bucket, novelty large hand, chair, joke and friend.  Bring extra cash for a splash in GonZo's fairy penguin booty.  I don't even know what that means.

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Just for a lark…
Hashers and local whiskey lovers are invited to attend a tasting evening of Lark Distillery wares at the West Mooreville Rd chicken and moose farm, starting at 6:30 pm on Friday 23rd January.  Cost is $15 for those participating in the tastings, with substantial food provided.  There may also be a Ringo-shaped birthday cake!  BYO other drinks if desired.

Sounds good enough reason to leave God's-own Cascade Country - just for the weekend, mind you.
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No surprise result in the last poll, which asked 'Which side will win the Beer War?'.  68% responded 'Boags Empire', with 31% (i.e Grizzly van der Kuunt) responding 'Cascade Colonials'.  That was until the Web Wanker reset the poll, meaning that Cascade was favoured by 98% of respondents.  It should have been 100%, but some of those pesky Urangs are hard to remove.

This week's poll is: Which punishment should be meted out for an errant Trailmaster? (or it will be when I can get the poll thingy to work)
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 22 - Chardonnay H3 555th run, AGPU and 10th anniversary @ TBA
† January 23 - Lark distillery tasting @ West Mooreville Rd chicken farm
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 981 - Jan 18 - Knickers @ Port Sorell caravan park
† R*n 982 - Jan 25 - mystery hare @ Burnie

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/

Kuunt Routed After Boags Walkover

AAP(Rooter) – Ross, Tasmania.

The Southern Hordes are without direction after Grizzly van der Kuunt’s leadership saw them comprehensively creamed by the victorious Boagans in a head-to-balls hard-on this weekend.

Lord Ringo Kitchendraw claimed victory at midnight atop the historic Ross Bridge, and along with several trusted comrades, saluted The Full Moon in the traditional Boagan style.

By Sunday morning, the Cascade Colonials could barely raise a route-march as they were outclassed on all fronts.

-Superior weaponry - Urang called it “a machine for annoying the crap out of Hashers by throwing water bombs at them while making the operator twice as wet”. We called it a catapult.

-Superior drinking skills – Both Anchor Harriettes suffered some spillage, but Hands On was humbled in the Wet T-shirt stakes as Puss in Boots had a bigger catchment area.

-Superior Ironmen – Urang employed his usual table manners to snatch victory from the lesser jaws of Jacques le Shiit. In the rematch, Northern newbie Jayson claimed victory over southern stalwart Crusha by a short half Weetabix.

-Superior Style – tighter shirts, louder music, bongo drums, and sexier underwear.

Lord Ringo commended his troops on their magnificent victory, but warned that, in light of many Boagans’ illiteracy, media manipulation by Southern Boerish Webwankers could see blatant mis-reporting of the battle.

Van der Kuunt is said to have taken refuge at a local bowling green serving Riccadonna to the silver-haired patrons.

Cascade Colonials rout Boags Empire

Having reviewed the photographic evidence from Saturday's border skirmish at Ross and having impeached 'impartial' judge A Bit of This, leader of the Cascade Colonials Grizzly van der Kuunt has declared a walkover victory to the South over the North. Evidence clearly shows northern grunt Puss In Boots did not skol her beer as anchor in the boat race but instead used it as a facial. This was compounded in the Iron Man contest when that cheating bastard Urang finished with more food in his beard than was actually consumed.

Cmdr Kuunt was glowing in his praise of his troops, "We had a lot of defections, leaving us with only a small band of hardy, well-trained troops, but right was on our side and the border territory of Ross will fly the Cascade flag forevermore."

"I was extremely disappointed in the bias shown by the representative from the so-called independent nation of Guinness, who showed her true colours in the ladies tug-o-war, albeit as part of a beaten side."

Lord Ringo Kitchendrawer could not be contacted for comment.

HHH Hash Trash 2 January 2009

Trailmaster Chunder is a wise man.  He knows that by setting the first run of 2009 he will ever-so-briefly be the hare of the best run of the year.

Trailmaster Chunder left explicit instructions on the venue for this Sunday's trail.  He said that if they weren't followed to the letter, woe is you (he actually typed "wow" is you, but you get that).  Unfortunately, his instructions needed interpretation; so here it is…

Head toward Sisters Beach, look for a tall hare approximately 5.4km from Bass Highway (or 4km past the Boat Harbour turn-off - but DON'T head toward Boat Harbour). By my reckoning, that puts trail around the start point of the Postman's Track.  On on is at 5:30pm.

Trailmaster Chunder needs a large skol - this is the third of his runs where the on on is at a pub (top pub in Wynyard) rather than breaking out the barbie.

Bring a hat, money for a counter meal and drinks, egg timer, and a friend. Bring extra money for a chance to win in the raffle, hopefully something from the bottle shop.

Trailmaster Chunder needs to pull his finger out and start finding hares for the rest of the hashing year!
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The Cascade Colonials are marshalling their forces for the big High Noon for Full Moon battle at Ross on Saturday 10th January.  They recently found four closet Boags drinkers and had then summarily executed as traitors.  Head Colonial Grizzly van der Kuunt is whipping his southern troops into shape, that shape apparently being round and blobby.

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Last week's poll hardly rates a mention - with three people responding "I needed that?", two people responding "Yawn..." and one person responding "WTF!?!" in reference to their Secret Santa present.

This week's poll is: Which side will win the Beer War?
Go to http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/, look for the poll on the right side of the page and record your vote (closes next Thursday).

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UP AND CUMMING. († updated)
January 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
† January 22 - Chardonnay H3 555th run, AGPU and 10th anniversary @ TBA
January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
February 20-22 - Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent
May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
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RECEDING HARELINE († updated)
† R*n 979 - Jan 4 - Chunder @ Sisters Beach
R*n 980 - Jan 10 - High Noon for Full Moon VI @ Ross
† R*n 981 - Jan 18 - Chunder @ somewhere that has barbecuing facilities

On on
Grizzly
http://www.burniehhh.blogspot.com/